You Gotta Let Go
by RBCrazyFan
Summary: AU Because intrinsically she knows that it is safe to let go but she can't bring herself to pry her fingers from the grenade


You Gotta Let Go

Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue

A.N. Quotes directly from the show are in italics (I think I got all of them).

This one has been on a continuous loop in my mind since the episode aired and I had to get it on paper.

A.N.2 - this is totally unedited - so if you catch any mistakes, please let me know!

Enjoy!

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She asked him to back up, she needed some space and she needed him not to be in the room. She knew that he would fight her if she asked him to leave so she didn't bother to try.

He took a step back and she found that she was able to breathe again. The tight feeling in her chest, the feeling that appeared after he said "_I love you Andy_" and then placed his hands over hers, diminished somewhat. Her heart was still racing.

As the bomb tech worked, her mind raced. She had no idea what he was talking about. She was busy running through the conversation in her head again. Sam said he loved her. And she thought she said it at an awkward moment, his timing was even worse. His voice in her head was telling her not to overthink it but how could she do anything but overthink it. She had no idea if he said it because of the situation, heat of the moment, or if he really meant what he said. Her eyes kept running back and forth between the grenade and the bomb tech's face, she knew she should be listening to him but couldn't.

She snapped back into reality when the bomb tech said "_Okay, here comes the tricky part. You gotta let go._"

"_That's it?_" Her voice shook a little.

"_That's it,_" he confirmed.

She looked down at the bomb and back up at his face. Her heart was still racing. The bomb tech gave off an aura of calm but as a cop, she knew that it didn't necessarily mean she was safe. She tried to pull her fingers from the bomb but found herself frozen.

After a minute, the bomb tech spoke. "Officer McNally?"

She closed her eyes and missed the silent exchange between her partner and the bomb tech.

Still, she felt him step closer before he spoke. "Andy?"

Her eyes opened. "Sam..." she whispered.

He reached out and took her free hand and she noticed that he had pulled his gloves off. "It's okay," he said softly. "You can do this. We're all walking out of here."

She shook her head, knowing it was an irrational fear but not knowing how to let go. "I can't."

"Andy, give me your hand."

She looked at him. "You're holding my hand."

Sam glanced at the bomb tech out of the corner of his eye. Technically he could get in trouble for saying this on the job but she had to let go. "Sweetheart, your other hand. Just give me your hand."

Slowly, without thinking about it, Andy unclenched her fingers and sought out his other hand. As soon as she let go, Sam pulled her towards him. She twisted slightly to look at the bomb tech. "_We're good?_"

"_We're good,_" he said with a nod and a smile.

He walked away as Sam pulled her back towards him. She let out a sigh of relief and heard him do the same before he crushed her into his chest.

"_I meant what I said Andy,_" Sam murmured into her hair as she hugged him back, craving the comfort. "It may have come at a bad time but I love you and I screwed up."

She pulled away and he saw the unshed tears in her eyes. "Sam..."

"Andy, I'm sorry. So sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. Things got tough and I pushed you away. _I'm going to show you, I'm going to do it all. I'm going to show you every day until you say yes. I'm going to make you dinner, take out your garbage, I'm going to walk your dog._"

"_I don't have a dog._"

"_Then let's get a dog. Labradoodle, mutt from the pound, I don't care. Let's bring him home and call him Boo. Boo Radley, I've always loved that name for a dog._"

She smiled at his comment. "_Boo Radley._"

"Sam..."

He pulled her close and kissed her uninjured cheek lightly and then ran a gentle finger down her bruised cheek. "Okay. How about we just start with a drink?"

She nodded. "Okay."

He led her out of the building.

Little did they know, it would be six months before they got their drink...

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A.N. Reviews make my day so let me know what you think. I'm playing with an idea about Sam having a second conversation before she goes under but we'll see what happens.


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